It's been a while

Well what a past 7 months this has been. My world literally has been turned upside down multiple times. Most of it was my own doing or stupidity should I say. I was academically dismissed because I was unmotivated/didn't have my priorities straight. When it came to doing my school work I didn't do it. I don't know why other than I didn't have anything driving me. I took everything for granted and it cost me dearly.

When I found out that I wouldn't be going back to NIU via a letter in the mail, it all hit me finally. I realized I had screwed up big time. I don't think I've ever been that down. I realized that I had let so many family members down, felt like an embarrassment to all of my friends, and just really beat myself up about it for a few months. For a while I had myself convinced that my time at NIU was done and was ready to settle for less and not achieve my dream.

But then something hit me. It was a combination of a lot of things. I always used to think that my life has been terrible with so many things not going the way that I thought they should be, my social life not being very good at times, just really everything in general. Then I finally got hit with reality by really seeing how bad some people really have it. I saw people I know battling with cancer, or a loved one dying or something else similar to that. I finally just realized I don't have to be down just because life is throwing some twists at me. I finally started to find that drive.

But then again it hit me again about 2/3 of the way into the semester, My calc 2 class was not going well again and I found out that the store I worked at was closing and I was going to lose my job. It couldn't have come at a worse time because most places had already done their seasonal hiring and there was no job market out there. There is no worse feeling out there than knowing that you are going to lose your job. Then you combine that with the stress at school, things were going south really fast for me.

I had to turn to something to help get me re-focused. That something was playing ice hockey. I have been playing hockey for about 4 months know and have realized that it is what gets rid of my stress. It is what got me re-focused and has helped me turn things around for good. I found out a few weeks later that my store was going to stay open after the lease was renegotiated. It was one of the best feelings ever.

Now I try to make the most out of everyday. I recently went up to NIU to see what I got to do to make it back and finish what I started. I found out that I am eligible to come back and should be back in the fall. It's not official yet but I was told that there shouldn't be any reason for you to not be allowed back. Now I just got to continue the grind and finish strong, but keep in my mind that I am still only part done with my ultimate goal.

more to come
-Eddie